Tag Archives: money

Gay rights will help hetrosexual human rights

Becoming a chattel

 

Two women (or men) fall in love, they are 18 and penniless.

Three years later they marry.

They both work but also start their own business. 

At 27 they start a family and decide that one will give up her career to bring up their family in the way they both want. 

Business goes really well. One works full time while the other rears the growing family and supports her partner in the business. 

At 45 the partner that works in the business full time has an affair and wants to end the marriage. 

Now what do you think happens

Their assets get split equally and both move house.

The partner who has control of the business gets a big mortgage and continues a very lavish lifestyle. The child rearer can not get a mortgage so lives frugally within her means.

But what about the business? The partner that cheated keeps the business while the other now non-skilled partner gets a payment each month from the business. The court decides 4% of the business profit. Which is just enough to live on, the cheating partner gets to keep 96% of a thriving business.

The law dictates that the partner that now owns the business can have intimate relationships and remarry without any consequence. The non skilled partner can only co-habit or remarry if she forgoes her monthly payments from the business (that she helped set up and enabled the controlling partner to succeed at whilst having a family as well). The controlling partner could opt for a final settlement but that doesn’t make financial sense, this way she has a loan that might just dissapear and has no interest.  She also gets to control her ex’s life.

That is the law as it stands today for hetrosexuals. I don’t think gay people will stand for this in their relationships. 

This happens in hetrosexual relationships because in uk law today women are regarded as chattels when they marry.

 

Chattel definition

n.

1. Law An article of movable personal property.

2. A slave.

Discarded by a narcisist

I’m over him, I know, but still sometimes I get a little wave rippling on from that tsunami. Yesterday’s wave was a feeling of being discarded.

My ex is wealthy and I am not, so my kids have this odd thing going on where dad takes them on lovely holidays, buys them cars etc and they feel guilty when they see me for accepting. Sadly this often comes out as aggression to me. So he’s taking my daughter skiing and paying for an amazing experience trip around Asia for her summer. It leaves me with complicated emotions, it must leave her with even more, so I take her snappiness and smile and say how wonderful and send her back to uni with homemade vegetable stew. I can’t compete and I don’t want to.


How do children feel when they see their parents like this? One super rich (but can’t afford a final settlement) and the other scraping by? Pity? Anger? I don’t know how to help them cope with these emotions.

Advice to my twenty year old self

As we start a new year I was reflecting what I would tell my twenty year old self inspired by the blogger named twentysomething.

The obvious stuff has pit falls – don’t marry him, but then I wouldn’t have my two lovely children and being what I was, I’d probably have married someone similar. So I’ll try to write advice supporting rather than just say no!

I would tell the young me, you are an adult now, every decision now should be your own, take responsibility for it.

No one else knows what they are doing either.

Don’t let your partners career succeed to the detriment of yours.

He isn’t always right just because he dominates.

Take control of the family finances – even more so if it’s his area of expertise.

When children arrive leave them in his sole care often.

If you think he is having an affair he probably is.

Don’t worry about no sex for five years as you will have an amazing time exploring that area very soon, yes even though you are over forty, men will still find you attractive and you will be amazed at how it feels to make love with someone who loves you.

When he leaves it will be the start, not the end of your life in many ways. Stop crying and play with your children.

Three wishes, what do we really want?

Watching Aladdin in panto I was struck with the question of what my three wishes would be?

1. Health for sure… Not to groan as I stand, to be able to run and move like I was 17… Or 7!

2. My second surprised me, it was to be amicable with my ex. It would make mine and my kids lives so much happier. I have tried a few times but I can’t break through, I don’t think it’s possible till the financials are sorted (which he tells me is never) and frankly it’s probably too late. However I can encourage my partner to be kind to his child’s mother.

3. I’m leaving this one for all of you! What would you do with your wish?

Chosing life as an upgrade

Choosing life as an upgrade?

I don’t remember as a child having the options to upgrade on almost everything we did. My poor old dog recently had a stroke but made a great recovery, the vet offered a prescription that would cost me £75 a month that would give her the ‘upgrade’ from normal and to be honest well past her sell by date life, to a better one and possibly even longer. I had to embarrassingly refuse, I love her to bits but I can’t afford it. I’m feeling tired of constantly having to chose the upgrades I can afford and suffer the embarrassment of those I can’t. Especially in front of my family and friends.

Normal hot chocolate or the one with the cream, flake and marshmallows; normal winter wonderland experience or the one with the premium ice skates and penguin; Santa’s knee or a full on trip to Lapland. A Skoda or a Volkswagen. My mums Christmas pudding or the one some celebrity chef has personally vomited on?

Are we all so arrogant to believe we (or at least our kids) should have the best? Sellers seem to be following this lucrative belief.

My partners old dad has just been offered a similar deal to the dog, NHS (no op, just some antibiotics) or private (to get an operation and subsequent improvement in quality of life). Isn’t it rather dark that we are in a world of choosing life as an upgrade?