Being a step child is hard too. But there are rewards. Step parenting should not be undertaken lightly. You have to do everything you would do for your own kids, but more to win them over, then yours are jealous…
This means cooking their favourite foods to be told their mum does it better, crispier, softer, with lemon, without.
Washing all their clothes including skidded pants, and yes they will use every item of clothes in the cupboard and give you more to wash after one weekend than your own kids do for a week.
Putting the clothes away as they are not back for two weeks.
Changing endless bed sheets as the spare room is overtaken with sweet wrappers and nerf bullets.
You will not feel like a luxury bubble bath after hearing that they’ve accidentally poohed in the bath again.
You will worry they’ve used your toothbrush again.
You worry if it’s appropriate that they climb in bed in the morning for a cuddle.
You have to learn to cope with their little of big problems from autism to fear of spiders.
You will buy them clothes or suffer other people judging that you’d let your kids out in ……. Fill in the blanks or unsuitable clothing.
When they behave badly you can’t tell people they are not yours.
Your weekend will be centred around them as you only have them two days in fourteen.
They will sit in your favourite chair and you won’t say no.
You’ll watch their choice of TV.
You’ll buy them birthday or Christmas presents to watch them toss it aside to say they have a better one at home.
You won’t be able to discipline them or they’ll hate you, run to dad or mum and say how evil you are.
You will be their carer but not welcome at parent school meetings, or sports days or family celebrations, anything important in their life.
You won’t get a Mother’s Day card for all you do for them but you will help them make one for your partners ex.
They will assume you have to do all the things you do for them and not realise that actually you don’t.
You will lose them if you split with your partner.
You are a parent with no rights.
You will get close to them yet have no say in their upbringing.
It’s all worth it when my partner comes back from sports day and says his son asked why I wasn’t there (I would love to be but wouldn’t want to upset his mum) but he missed me and that makes me feel like I’m doing ok.