Damage Control, Autism and step children

I’m being made to feel grumpy, and I don’t want to be. Every other weekend we have my partners autistic son to stay. I brace for impact, he’s very loving which I’m thankful for and can be great fun. However the physical stress is quite demanding, I find myself hovering constantly trying to initiate damage control.


We work hard on getting him to do things for himself, poor a glass of juice for breakfast seems a simple task but in reality this means when he takes the carton out of the fridge other things just fall out. That he chooses a pint glass and fills it to the brim overflowing – waste and mess. The lid is then just lost. It costs me so much energy to manage each simple task. I can’t afford to waste a pint of juice, that I end up fighting the urge to do everything for him or becoming a tired nag.


It’s hard making constant judgements on whether this is his condition or is he just being thoughtless and lazy.


However I’m determined not to raise a child that expects to be waited on hand and foot when I know he is capable. I did a simple test to check what he could do, I bought him an app game he really wanted and said if I find poo covered boxers on his bedroom floor and not in the wash basket again the app would be deleted. For 6 months now the boxers have made it to the wash basket. So I’m being tougher on the other stuff and I’m coming across all nasty. Yes I need to talk to his dad about it, we do, but he suffers divorced dad guilt and like so many dads who go through divorce are completely in their kids hands.

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