Looking at erotic images together
So a boyfriend suggested we look at some porn together, no problem, we enjoyed looking through all the images in a few of his mags. But here’s the problem, very few pics are of men and frankly none of them looking very erotic.
In one magazine I rather liked, the photos were artful, the girls stunning, no pictures of any thing more than a nipple but much more erotic than the gynaecological photos in other mags. However still no pictures of men. So I find some pictures I like and say have a look at these. What a reaction! After I’d joined in and admired the girls in his mags, he seemed to think glancing at an oiled up bare chested bloke would instantly turn him gay. I exclaim shocked, do you think I’m a lesbian (not that it’s a problem but so far I’m not) because I looked at your mags, why can’t you look at these with me and enjoy, as I did yours?
When I look at the girls in the mags I can admire their beauty but other horrid thoughts go through my head, I worry about how voluntary it is for the girls, he obviously thinks about making love to them and has a w*** while he does. The green eyed monster nudges me and I push it away, I can’t live up to their perfectly photoshopped glistening bodies but they are not real, I am. But of course my self esteem is knocked a bit. So how can a mans super self esteem and confidence not cope with a pic of another sexy bloke. Is their arrogance huge but so fragile?
He once said if I didn’t share porn with him he’d do it in private, go underground, is that what I have to do? Is that what women have to do? Finding a private moment to sit and watch the Marks and Spencer David Gandy adverts and enjoy a warm moist feeling. But I’m a bit angry the feminist in me says ‘is this another way of eroding women’s self esteem while preserving their arrogance’ that in our modern world women are expected to join the mans porn but they won’t join our erotica?
Note: I’ve used the words porn and erotic – porn being very explicit, erotic being very sexy, which can overlap but also entirely different.