marriage with a narcissist

Cohabitation and marriage with a narcissist.

One legal definition of cohabitation is living together as man and wife. So after 25 years of marriage I should be well qualified on what that feels like?

So to me that means a sexless relationship, possibly once or twice a year.

A relationship where I am scared and dominated and kept in my place, a doormat.

It means my cohabitee does whatever he likes, goes away for weeks at a time on ‘boys trips’ that end up in a brothel. Arrives home in the early hours and if I dare to question I’m in the wrong and if I ask again he will be unfaithful as that’s what I deserve for being suspicious.

It means his car is an Aston Martin and top of the range land rover, my car he lends to me is a Clio.

It means he rarely interacts with the children and does not think about their needs.

He doesn’t have any child care responsibilities.

He gets very drunk every Friday night and Saturday night and is too hungover to participate in any weekend family time. If he’s even about.

It means he’s too busy to take phone calls from me or the kids.

It means I am a housekeeper.

A place where I have no financial control.

I was never more alone than when I was married.

So no I do not want to marry or cohabit, I never want to be that person again.


5 thoughts on “marriage with a narcissist

  1. Sharn

    I’m sorry you had to live through something like that.

    I really really am. No one should be degraded to that.

    I want to give you a huge hug. You are a strong woman for walking away from that.

    But I’d love to think that all relationships are different and even though I fear being in a relationship with a narcissist again, I know that there has to be better out there too.

    Call me an optimist. Or stupid.

    1. mathematicalpie Post author

      Thankyou. There are much worse lives out there and although i didnt walk away he did i am stronger. I am in a relationship and now know what that feels like but i dont want to become a chattel again which is what our archaic laws still define a wife in marriage and divorce. Thankyou for your hugs. Very much appreciated. Sounds like youve had a journey too.

    1. mathematicalpie Post author

      Thank you Tela. There are many people out there in much more horrific situations, but this was mine and I was given a great gift by ‘my narcisist’ in the end. Freedom, well to an extent.

  2. Pingback: Are you a codependent and are you in a bad relationship – a checklist | mathematicalpie

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