Seeing your ex after divorce

Having to see your ex

Parent evening. This means seeing my ex for the first time in about 9 months, for the first time since we actually got divorced. 

I did try that olive branch thing, which got an insulting reply and no contact from him since (now I know the silent treatment is a normal narcissistic weapon, it has lost most of its power over me). Even so I was dreading it. I was also confused, boy did I want to look good, but no way did I want to look good for him. I did want him to regret doing what he did, but I don’t want him back. How conflicting and confusing.

So the reason I am there is for my son so I focus on that, yes I made a little effort to look good, but not too much. Instead I managed to ask relevant questions, and I came away pleased that I knew my son, and what’s going on in his life. He’s doing very well by the way.

And the ex, well he looked very tired underneath that deep tan, obviously just back from somewhere very expensive, which is why he couldn’t have his son last week. He also looked kind of puffy which was odd. Next summer I will have to endure his presence – and him mine, at my daughters graduation ceremony, I mentioned this to my son, who put me in my place, ‘It’s not about you mum, it’s about her’ I felt ashamed wrapped up in my own trauma, he is quite right. I will try my best to keep that in my mind and in my actions.

My man was waiting for me when I got back and I felt so damn lucky to have such a great guy loving and supporting me and my kids now. Now him I did feel like looking good for, but ironically I kind of know I don’t have to try that hard, as Bridget Jones would say ‘he loves me just the way I am’.


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