Spotting if you are a codependent

How to spot if you are a codependent (and probably with a narcissist)


  1. You had/ have a domineering parent
  2. You are needy
  3. You can’t make a decision and when you do, it’s not free thought – you try to decide what they want
  4. You can be a martyr
  5. You can inwardly resent the things you do for everyone and don’t understand why they don’t treat you well
  6. You lie to people about the cost of tickets artificially lowering the price or not including surcharges
  7. You won’t complain in a restaurant , even if there is glass in the food, if you do complain you feel guilty
  8. You refuse to go to the doctor and suffer silently
  9. You make things happen for others (and are usually good at it) and they take the credit
  10. You take the blame when it’s not your fault
  11. You beg forgiveness when you do something wrong – see 10. above
  12. You are willing to subjugate your life for theirs
  13. You give up your friends and family
  14. you are always making excuses to others because your partner doesn’t want you to go out with them
  15. You do as you are told
  16. You do their menial tasks
  17. You have low self esteem
  18. You have no self belief
  19. You can not live up to expectations and do nothing right
  20. You think you are depressed or bonkers but outwardly have a great life see gaslighting
  21. Tiny compliments blow you away and insults are totally believable
  22. You are gullible
  23. You occasionally start something to better yourself, new job/training then find it sabotaged by others needs
  24. You probably only see these things in hindsight.

Someone said to me wouldn’t it be great if everyone behaved like this but it wouldn’t, it’s not right, you lose your true self. It’s not healthy and you will attract narcissists. It’s also very boring. But it’s a fight after a lifetime of behavioural habits to make even simple decisions on what you truly want. But the rewards are great.


One thought on “Spotting if you are a codependent

  1. Pingback: Codependence? What’s that? | Music of Codependence

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