I just thought I’d write a little list from personal experience but I’m no psychologist so take it with a pinch of salt.
How to spot a narcissist
- They speed when driving – and I mean really fast 120mph on the motorway is no big deal – as they own the road, are driving a super car and their driving skills are better than anyone else
- They give you amazing gifts that you did not want, a ski holiday when you’d love to go to Costa Rica. They are giving you what they want and you better be grateful. But you can’t complain can you, who would say no to a ski holiday.
- They forget big things like you are vegetarian or a phobia because they aren’t.
- They insult your basic skills, you can’t even cook a stew while they prepare an amazing meal for friends, after you cleaned the house, planned the menu shopped for it and prepped the food, all they did was put the meat in the oven but they take the credit
- They got their qualifications/job in a bit of a dodgy way
- They don’t show any affection for parents and siblings
- They insult your family and you find you are always making excuses for them
- They have all the toys and over extend their borrowing to get them and have a wallet full of credit cards
- Everything has to be the best an Aston Martin, private healthcare, the best room, sorry I mean suite in a hotel, hot tub…
- They can get tickets for anything
- They have never set foot in aldi or lidl
- You are punished by complete withdrawal from their pseudo affection. Or the silent treatment.
- They are scared of hospitals and sick people
- They won’t make an ugly face for a comedy photo
- They act like lord or lady of the manor
- They appear generous but only because it either makes them look good or they are ‘buying friends’
- They charm or snow ball friends into doing what they want
- They believe anything/anyone can be bought
- They degrade your self esteem and self belief till you think you are mad or depressed
- You are conditioned to be unable to make choices for yourself. You automatically think of them first
- They don’t cue
- Your faults are never excused, they don’t have any faults.
- They don’t do menial dirty things
- They don’t repair (marriages either) it’s out with the old in with the new
- They use the silent treatment as a weapon
- Things have to be done the old way, they are not open to new ideas
- They get you to sign things and dismiss your need to read it
- They plan a divorce for years (as they don’t feel love but you fulfil most of their needs it’s no problem waiting and doesn’t stop them moving on to their next supply at the same time)
- You don’t argue – you’re a doormat
Love to hear anyone else’s observations.